As parents did you ever just want to scream because you couldn’t get your child to pick up their room, or do the chores you have assigned to them?
At work are you feeling some angst over uncontrollable situations and wish you were somewhere else?
You obviously love your children (well most parents do), but as they grow older you have been teaching them to be independent, self-reliant. So, it is reasonable that your children rebel against authority because we’ve taught them how to think for themselves and not follow blindly in doing anything. It is the nature of the beast to question everything. Generations past would have nipped this in the bud, but our generation has made sure that if we aren’t around to help our children to learn, then they can reason it out themselves.
It has been my experience that children like order. As a past day care teacher, day care owner, and helping children to get organized my experience is that children want their rooms to reflect what they love, and would prefer to know where things are rather than having to tear the room apart looking for things they need.
Now I didn’t say they like cleaning up their rooms. Nor did I say that staying organized was easy for children. What I am saying is that if you as the parent learn or know the value of staying organized then you can reinforce those traits in your child.
Below is a list of ideas that will help you get your child organized. It is meant to help and if you are struggling with this topic please email me and we will discuss strategy. Anything from having me visit for a few hours to teach you and your child while working with the child to having a teleconference with you both to get the ball moving.
Idea List Do’s and Don’ts
1. It is never good to threaten, it doesn’t work for keeping them organized.
2. Work with your child to clear the clutter. Start with the floor so you aren’t stepping on things that should be in the trash.
3. Make sure you have the tools you need to have.
a. Trash can in every room
b. Storage containers for different sized items. i.e. proper storage for hair ribbons or storage for computer or Xbox games. The things that get strewn around a room, usually on the floor need a home.
c. Shoe boxes. Shoe boxes, the plastic ones you can see through, can be used to store a multitude of things, not just shoes. They are lightweight so even a young child can carry it around. Younger children need to see what is in a box and they need to be able to get to those items without making a large mess.
4. Now that you have some tools let’s talk strategy.
Strategy for all children and organizing can be thought of as strategy for you to pick your battles. So the first thing to think of here is what kind of words to use that would get a child to be, if not happy, then at least cooperative about keeping their room organized.
Using a child’s name when addressing them, might get their attention, but it also alerts them to the possibility that they are being called upon to do something they would rather not! So try using a gentler method. Honey, sweetheart (yes I’m a southern belle, and we use euphemisms in place of names) to get their attention.
For younger children there is the possibility that they just have too many things to remain organized. You could have every storage item between here and India and still not be able to get them organized. The idea is to sort through what they have (without them there to cry or whine over the toys) and take away broken toys, toys that may be favorites but are too young for them now, toys that are too old for them. Now take a look at what is left. Sort the toys into groups and put them into those clear boxes. A child will enjoy being able to pull one box at a time to play with something.
So now the clearing up behind them is an issue. What you need to teach your child is that when they move from playing with one box of toys, they must (MUST) put those items away before they can pull another box from the shelf.
The deal is that at school, a teacher is not going to allow them the opportunity to destroy her classroom. So why should you? Children like boundaries. Set the boundaries for home and you will enjoy not having to be the angry mom on the block always yelling at your kids to pick up or you’ll throw the stuff away. I promise I have been there (before I got wiser).
I’m thankful that my children are both grown. My oldest just cleared his room of everything he no longer uses or wants from his childhood. My youngest is heading off to military training in four weeks and his room, well, it will be serving a new purpose when he deploys in the fall for Iraq. Soon I’ll be an empty nester and enjoying the freedom it brings.
Take these few tips, try them out and if you need advice, please drop me a note!
For now, enjoy your weekend!
Denise
