Recently a prospective client asked me, “How do I make the kids pick up after themselves?”
She is a mother of four and with children of all ages she was having trouble keeping a well-ordered household. She told me that it wasn’t always this way, but with having a ten year span between children (they just adopted) things have become overwhelming.
I’ll say, when my kids were young I thought I was overwhelmed. Now I see there are others who are a lot more overwhelmed than I ever was.
So that is the topic of today’s article.
How to have a calm and peaceful environment that is laced with the comings and goings of a houseful or people.
Schedule It.
The first idea that comes to mind is : Do you schedule time for yourself, for the errands, for the kids?
Okay, you schedule everything else, so why not have a schedule at home? You know the laundry has to be done and usually you do it between changing the diaper, cooking dinner on Saturday and oh…what was that? You’re getting the idea?
Scheduling yourself into the ground is not what I’m talking about. However, keeping up with everyone’s schedule is. Knowing that Johnny and Mary have piano practice on Monday evening and that if you don’t pick up your husband’s dry cleaning then he won’t have his suit to wear to the big business meeting on Wednesday evening can really be crucial to getting you “fired” from your job as “Super Mom”.
A title I used to hold by the way! At least until this week when my youngest left home for Army Basic Training.
So here is a guideline of what needs to go into your schedule.
These are things that you know you know that you know, but just a quick reminder:
1. Doctor appointments
2. Errands
3. Meetings (especially with teachers)
4. When your husband or you are traveling, have late meetings or need a babysitter.
5. Time to be alone (if you are like me, yes)
6. Time to write in the planner all these things you need to schedule!
Okay, that was quick, but important. Time management is a big word these days. Knowing how to make the most of your time is even more important than the term.
If you honestly think about the time you spend just staring at the dirty floor, or the bathroom that just never stays clean well then you need to refocus and call me!
NOW, for the rest of the story…
So my client has asked me how to make the kids pick up after themselves so she wasn’t doing it 24/7.
I know her pain, as I said my youngest just left home. Whew!
Children and parents usually start off on the right foot with this. Old Doctor Spock, if I recall that long ago, was adamant that children did what their parents told them to. Hmm, where did we as parents fall off the bandwagon? Oh yeah! I remember, it was where we didn’t want to be like OUR parents and constantly telling our kids to get off their duffs and go clean their rooms, or take the trash out, or …well you get the idea.
I have to say I’ve seen this in almost every household I’ve ever walked into.
So my friends, charity begins at home. Be kind to yourselves and others (like your future son or daughter-in-law) make those kids do what you say. Now I’m off the soapbox so let’s see if I can address the real issue here.
Knowing that we should make them do these things so they learn organizing and being able to be consistent with it is very hard. We love our kids, but we’re busy too. We do not always take the time to be consistent with our own organization and so we rationalize when we aren’t consistent in making them be organized.
The best way to begin is when they are young. We show them the way we believe things should be organized. Logically organized belongings are easy to find, right?
Recently I went into a home where there were two boys, ages 4 and 5. Their clothing was very organized. Their mom truly had them under control with labeled drawers and bins for their toys.
But, their things were everywhere, not just in the bins. Having moved from a larger home they were now in a much smaller home several thousand miles from where they had been living and were trying to get acclimated to their new home. So how do you handle this? How can we help this young family get in control of the overflow? and help the children put their things away?
So the first step I took was to see what their day was like, their schedule and how I could encourage her to have scheduled times in their day to pick up, put away and only have out the things they were currently playing with. To generally not walk away from what they were doing without putting those things away.
The second thing that makes sense in this is that even during the summer a mother can become overwhelmed by the cleaning duties. Always having to pick up after, mop the floors, bathroom duties, etc is hard to maintain when no one helps.
What does it hurt to have the children know that bath toys have to be put away before they can get out of the tub? Or that wet towels are not allowed to be thrown on carpet or wood floors?
Remembering that you are not alone is the very first step you take in taking control of this. And being in control is definitely what we want to feel in trying to create a tension free home.
A calm and peaceful environment is created by someone, or more than one someones, who takes the time to recognize what makes us happy. If you are happy with a cluttered kitchen, the paper on the floor beside your favorite chair then by all means enjoy the environment. If you need more structure and are having trouble achieving that structure remember to evaluate how you feel in each of your rooms and decide what offends you the most in that room and try to remove it, find it a new home.
For example, I do not mind a bit of clutter during the working day. However, at the end of the day I am preparing for the next day’s work and I know that I hate waking up, going to my office and seeing it all cluttered. It’s as if I didn’t accomplish anything the day before. So, I make the effort to put things away, make my ToDo list, keep the area so that everything is accessible to me and yes I work from home, so I am here 24/7 unless I am with a client.
Now that my youngest has gone to Basic Training you and I both know that his room is fair game! His laundry is certainly completely done and he’s only been gone 24 hours! From ceiling to floorboards his room is my priority. Boy will he try to have a fit when he comes home! I’m laughing because I’m not getting into his personal stuff. I’m just cleaning! Doing the mom thing.
I hope that these short ideas floating through my mind help you to organize your homes and offices better. I am available, certainly to any who need my help. You can contact me at denise@progressiveorganizingsolutions.com . My website is http://www.progressiveorganizingsolutions.com . Please visit it, see the methodology and processes that are listed there. My phone number and addresses are there also.
That’s it for now. More on the morrow! Have a wonderfully productive day and an even better evening!
Denise
